New Blog.

I am going to start over. Make a new blog.

Because I do not know when to quit.

The address is [ here! ]

Must say, after all these years, after 12 533 page-views, it is kind of, sort of sad to just give this up. But I'm probably not going to give it up entirely... Though I probably will... Or will I... I am conflicted!

To-do list.

Botox is weird. I don't understand why people are afraid of looking their age. Crows feet are beautiful! It proves you have actually smiled 2 or 3 times in your life!
Especially actors that botox the fuck out of their face. They need their facial mimics! It makes you better at your job, and makes your role more credible!
I do understand that getting old is scary, and nobody wants to, but it's unavoidable! Your face will look like shit at one point or another. Age with dignity, bro's!

That had very little to do with my to-do list.
I've taken some time, reflecting on a few things here and there, and I've decided to challenge myself a little.
- Recently I've been slightly aggressive towards people, I intend on trying to be more patient.
- I will also try not to judge people. Putting McJudgemental to the side will be a hard one.
- Not call people stupid, because I hate being called stupid myself, and in calling other people stupid, I guess I reflect my own stupidness.
- Come up with more creative shit to write about....

OOOHH! I found horribly filmed flash-videos from my first camera on my dad's hard drive, and found it on youtube. I remember Carina and I laughing so much of this, I had to post it here.

There's three in total, they are hilarious! I strongly advice watching them.

OKCAN'TCOMEUPWITHANYMORESHITTOSAYBYE!

The lovely summer in Søgne & shit

 I decided to stick some pictures up of August thus far. We've been at sea and enjoyed crabs at a jetty/docks whatever they are called, enjoyed the sun thoroughly and visited friends in Oslo! All in all, a great summer.
I'm just going to stick some pictures up. I haven't got an awful lot to say, really.

Two very carefully cut bushes.... :P

View from our cabin

View picture through my sunglasses to catch the stripes in the sky

The bay I spent a lot of time in finding stuff,
and playing doctor on jellyfish...

What I think is OK to put out
without asking my friends for permission :P

My first earned money by... being humped....
Scrubbing it.. Away! Away!

This seagull was standing reeeaally close to me.
Taken in Oslo harbour!

FSSHHHOOOMM! :P

Pretty little ass-kisser.

We decided to go in here, but when we found out
it cost 80 kroner we decided not to go after all.
Yes to cheaper museums!

BLOMST!

Wergelandsparken at night.
One of my favourite spots in Kristiansand!

More flowers. I like orange.

If you still hung on, I am impressed. I've realised that this blog is somewhat like the ramblings of a mad old man... Then again, the life of an old mad man is probably extremely entertaining so I'm not going to discriminate!

I enjoyed my time in Oslo thoroughly. Thanks to Louise for letting Carina and I stay there! We had a great time! Well.. At least I did. I guess I can't speak for Carina...

Peace!

Ashes of Al'ar

We had a bit of a raiding spree earlier today. We did Trial of the Crusader, Eye of Eternity, Obsidian Sanctum and finally Tempest Keep. We had a good group of 5 who just decided to do a crap-load of "low level" raids. 3 of 4 of these raids drop mounts.
I really wasn't expecting the last raid to drop anything. But fuck me it did.

Look at it, in all its glory! The sight gave me shivers. I rolled on that before I did anything else...

I made a little prayer to the Gaming God, took a breath..
Then clicked "need" like everyone else did...

AND I FUCKING WON IT! I rolled a 100! That is the best placed 100 I've ever seen in my entire life. I still can't believe I actually won it! I wish I could share it with one more person, though. I know someone who deserves it.

Look at it! It's wildly awesome! And phoenix-y!
One can assume a few severe fangasms occurred.

Horror games.

I really don't like scary games. I bought Silent Hill: Origins, once, and I'm still just faffing about in the hospital... I've probably had a collected play time of 10 minutes on that game. I am not a fan of the nurses. And keep expecting to bump into a certain Pyramid Head around every corner.
Don't get me wrong, the nurses are scary as shit, but the thought of having a guy with a massive ... knife? Can that even be described as a knife at that size? Anyway, with a massive knife-sword that enjoys skinning the people he comes across... Not the most approachable feller is he...

So naturally, I've been watching play-throughs of Slender and some of Amnesia. Personally, I found the Amnesia play-throughs a lot more "Going to shit my pants now" than Slender, but then again, I think Slender might be scarier to play yourself than to look at in a play-through. Slender was just creepy. Apparently the monster doesn't look very scary either...
It's creepy, don't get me wrong, but I find other monsters even more scary. And for me, the "Shit bricks" moments are mostly when you see the monster. Then again, I wouldn't want to play Slender either to test out my nerves of steel (read: None existing nerves.. Who the fuck am I kidding anyway..), because I know what would happen.
What would happen is; I would lie under my bed for months with a torch and a knife, making weird hissing noises when people approached the door, living off of dust and crumbs from some sort of naughty meal I had once in bed.


Amnesia... Jesus fucking Christ. I don't ever want to touch that game. I may stretch myself to watch someone play it behind a pillow, but playing it? No. Just no.
LOOK AT THAT THING! How will you not walk away from that game without a million and one nightmares and a ticket to the loony-bin!? That's all I have to say about that.

KTHXBYE!

Twatville High

The great joy of staying at home over the summer is the immense love you have for your siblings. Yeah. The joy you feel when they decide to accuse you for taking things that disappear, when they want to take the scooter even though they don't even have the license, you say no and they start bitching about it hours later because they had to ride a fucking bike.... Because exercise is the devil's work (not that you hear any arguments from me there, but I don't want to be thrown into jail for being partially guilty of the death of my sister)
And they keep going on sending you snide remarks...
Got to love being home with a fucking twat sibling.

Also, saw a mate preform with his band this Friday, they were really good. Ratatosker they're called. Very good stage presence! Regrettably the vocals were hard to hear sometimes as the microphones were really low, but you caught the gist of it. It was really good. The vocalist tried to get the crowd going, bless him. The band members were all over the place. You could really tell they were enjoying themselves.

I wonder how much ass-bacteria that gets wiped off into the couch from people who are unable to pull up their trousers.
Surely it must be quite a lot, I mean think about the amount of people who don't even bother to wash their hands after having been to the toilet, imagine how they wipe their fucking ass! It's disgusting!
They are wiping it on your sofa!
Yes. It's true. Your ass-crack friend is wiping his/her ass on your sofa.


I've been playing some Diablo 3. And the guys in the fucked up place with the spider-lady.... FUCKED UP!! Seriously. Look at these guys! LOOK AT THEM! I want to kill them and save them from their misery :(
They look vile! Like living corpses! Somebody please end their misery!
I honestly struggled getting through that level. I was scared shitless of those things!

On another note, I'm not sure I will go back to playing the campaign over and over, as I really struggled even on normal... I'm such a horrifyingly untalented gamer... But this game is fucked! But maybe I should though, anyway. Diablo's got some piece of fabulous ass! Must be the tail that does it. Proper birth-hips, he's got. I need to print-screen it.

You're welcome.

Mini-road trip

..Only it wasn't really nowhere near a road trip as much as a 5 hour bus trip back and forth.
I went to Oslo last Monday to Wednesday, and it was so incredibly nice to see the lovely people who live there again! My beautiful friends!
Maren left for Beijing on... OK, I'm a terrible friend. It was either the 30th or the 1st.
Beijing. Freaking China! For 6 months!

I'm really glad I was allowed to come up to visit before she left.
We went out on the night  got there to a bar called "3 brødre" (3 brothers) and drank expensive as SHIT drinks, whilst talking about god knows what. My favourite part was when I repeatedly shouted "Vagina" and they were trying really hard to make me stop. Best expressions ever.
To be fair, I didn't really shout.. Was more loud than shout...
I'm such a classy bird.

We had a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant (read: Junk food) afterwards, and then we parted ways. It was so nice of them to come out and see us, I love these guys to bits. I really do.








The day after Marie, Maren and I ventured out into the great city to find a present for Louise, as we were celebrating her birthday/having a good bye party for Maren on Egon (restaurant) later. Maren didn't know this, and the look on her face when she saw everybody sitting there in that restaurant was priceless. She was so happy! :)
But that wasn't until later.

Before that they brought me to this place, Ryes, where they serve BRILLIANT milkshakes, bought a dress and then we went back
(Well. Ran/fled back as it started hailing and/or raining like the gods were doing spring cleaning) to Marie's place where Maren and Marie started stroking a mop.... Yes...

            So that happened.

After the mop-stroking incident, we moved on to Egon's, in wet shoes, and had a lovely meal with people I haven't seen in over a year. It was great.
Maren and Louise both got presents and shit, as it were their thing, and the rest of us left in disappointment. :P

The night was filled with a lot of talking and later on we raped a few helium balloons and had a lot of fun with them. There was a sort-of competition in who could get the squeakiest voice. I think. It may have been just me being overly competitive...
I'm very good at wanting to win...
...So that's a character flaw. You're welcome!
It was so much fun. Especially with Michael who couldn't inhale the helium whether his life depended on it. That was hilarious. 

So yes. It was great seeing people again. Got to meet a few new people as well, which was nice.

We made some sort of a boob-joke
here. I love these guys!

On the last day in Oslo, Maren and I were invited to Louise's place for some food.
She's really good at making little arrangements like that. She made us potatoes with tomatoes and smoked trout. It was delicious!
Delicious like a lawn... Mower... For some reason...
Then we talked about weird places we had moles, which I thoroughly enjoyed as it was one of the more bizarre conversations I've had... Great fun.

But yes, those days were great.
I enjoyed every second of them, and I hope that I'm allowed back to pester them.

We proceeded to rush off, met a fellow Kristiansander on Oslo S, oddly enough, wasted many minutes trying to avoid his weird hugs, and then rushed onwards to the bus station where I had 5 hours of lovely bus-ness in front of me.

Nom

AH GOT YER POTEEEEETOOOOS! EH! WIT' T' OLD LEPRECHAUN, EH!? :D

Lovely piece of shit!

Now you know. And you've successfully wasted ... erm... some time reading that. Just know that that food was so super-good, you should envy Maren, Louise and I. A lot. Because if was good. Really good. Mmmm!
KTHXBYE!

The the process of..

I MISS SWANSEA!! Oh my god! I just can't believe how much I miss the people over there! I do however think it's good for me to have some distance. But still...
I can't wait to move into a proper house. That will be severely good.

"Please don't call animal control."

This was okay in, well, the year I was there, but still with the amounts of fire alarms and screaming hall-mates... Not so much. The hall-mates were fine when they weren't screaming and shouting though. ;) It's going to be weird not to live there any more. It was such a nice distance to the uni as well!

But coming home was nice. We took the bus from Sola airport in Stavanger to Kristiansand (or in my case, Søgne) so got to see a lot of pretty nature. From Oslo to Kristiansand it's not as pretty, but the west country does have some severely lush views.

Example of said view. I liked it.

To be back home with my sane family does also help ones stamina in the whole "coping with silly Brits". :P Yep. We had this whole "be normal" thing going on, intensively, for a whole week. Then we went back to just being regular-normal.

Example of what sanity looks like.

We're good at being normal and sane. I swear...
Also, I should add that this is not the worst picture. It's really not. I also did Rebekka a favour by not showing The One where she resembles a ... well, "retarded angry monkey" sounds so harsh...

It's been a good... Jesus I just noticed that I had been home for slightly more than two weeks! What! I thought I'd been here for a month!
...I miss Swansea!

Bad-guys

In films bad-guys have a bad habit of always revealing what they have done and/or their plan. It usually happens at the end of the film, which means we have just seen all the things that they did or would attempt to do. I don't understand the need to rub in the obvious after having seen everything they've done.
I want to see a film where the bad-guy say "Fuck you, I'm not going to jail" and then jumps off the roof, but doesn't die because he has a jet-pack, and then flies off to an island he bought, but they can't trace it (the purchase of the island) back to him because he's been using aliases and/or different bank accounts, as rich people do to avoid taxes, but in this case it's not just taxes, it's also the police.
Yes. And then he lives happily ever after until he takes over the world and rules it with an iron fist (depends on the villain, it could be quite literally an iron fist).
Or just destroys it.
Yep. That would be severely awesome.

...Or just let Loki do his deed... God that man is good looking.

LOOK AT THOSE EYES! How can anyone say no to those? That's a crime against nature!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I am a child.
Birthday's aren't even that fantastic...

I should go back to sleep...

But I can't!
I had the most epic zombie-vampire dream ever, tonight! It was so severely awesome, yet... I've forgotten most of it... Which is typical.
It involved a tower-like building that we hid on the roof of, and we used curtains to stab zombies/vampires. I mean we poked a needle through the curtains, so they couldn't see when they went through (because there weren't doors, there were curtains). I thought it was quite clever at the time. Then the zombies magically transferred into vampires. Not the silly shiny vampires, but the kind that burns in the sun. The proper kind.
And then we had to run for our lives (I had magically been transformed into one), because the sun started to rise, and we ran into the Swansea Metropolitan Bar, where our tutors sat and wanted us to stir a pot of really really thick tomato soup. With too much macaroni in it.
Then I woke up.

Fun times.

Gonna go to "town" (Søgne sentrum) with my sisters now. Fun times!
KTHXBYE

Twitchy

So far I've had laziest week in history. I am not complaining. I should, however, look at the possibility of maybe getting some income. God being a grown-up sucks. If I could make money out of doing absolutely fuck all, that'd be... A dream!
I've considered YouTube, but I honestly don't think I have good enough ideas to have any reason to be there. Plus my face looks like it has another face plastered on it. OH MAYBE THAT WOULD GET ME VIEWS! HAH! :D
Haha, a make-up tutorial of what the wicket witch of the West should use for her foundation! Maybe not. The fact that I think it is hilarious is a warning sign by itself.

Oh, I found this site this one time I was getting lost on the internet, called Whatdoestheinternetthink.net, and is GREAT!

I made an observation that was quite astounding.

It was about spoons. And spoon. Yes.
Both. In a separate sense.

I find it extremely funny that the same thing can have so different opinions! One is plural and the other is singular (Captain Obvious, much?)... I think people hate Spoon The Lonely. GIVE SPOON SOME LOVE!
I took the screen-shot ages ago, so I'm sure the numbers have changed, but I found this quite funny for obvious reasons.
KTHXBYE!

Shit happened.

Hi...
The last blog-post was silly and weird. I just needed to crush some imaginary people on the intarwebz. With aliens. Everything is better with aliens.
Being dumped sucks. For 3 months I was seeing an amazing guy. But then we broke up. It's hilarious. Laugh out loud hysterical.
Dripping with sarcasm.
But no matter, life happens.
I learned a lot in this time and life-experience is always good, I suppose.
Still sucks though.
Hence the kung fu fighting aliens who enjoys taking over worlds.

Now that I've explained my silly behaviour, I can show you this awesome sign I found in a restaurant called Eddie's Rocket. It amuses me greatly.

Talk about a blunder and a half! :D
I also enjoy the fact that someone made the effort to try and correct the spelling error, but still missed the "to" one!
...Grammar really shouldn't be so much fun....
I need a life... "Srs bsns", as an old guild-member used to say before we kicked him out for being severely annoying.

Swansea at the end of the year is weird. It's really sad that we won't be seeing the 3rd years again, there are many good people in that year. I'm also really sad to see that the 2nd years didn't make much effort in getting to know us. Then again, I suppose this went both ways, but being the "freshers", I think we were entitled to be a little withdrawn. Next year will be interesting though.
I wonder if we will learn to be more professional. At this point, I really hope some people will drop out. Not because I dislike them, but because they have no reason to be there.
I know I'm nowhere near the perfect student myself, but hopefully our lecturers will tell us off and show us what to do. I'm really excited about 2nd year. I put Arts Marketing and Performance down as my electives, but I'm a little worried about the Marketing one. I think I might get bored really easily in that... But then again, I'm only judging the book by its cover.
I just sincerely hope that we won't have the same brought-in tutors that we had in term two this year, because that was dreadful, and I am not paying for that.
KTHXBYE!

Distress

New York was always beautiful at this time of night. The restaurant window starts to work as a mirror, and you looked away, slightly embarrassed. He smiled at you. Before you knew it, an armored alien bursts through the window and picks him up. You can see he's scared as he's starting to cry maniacally. The people in the restaurant starts screaming and run around like headless chickens.
You remain calm before you whip out a giant gun. "DROP THE HUMAN, ALIEN SCUM!" you shout. It looks at you, and out of spite, it looks like, it squeezed him. His screams were deafening before you could hear a crack. That must have been agony... Then complete silence. You point your gun at the alien and shoot. More aliens comes streaming in the already broken window. You took cover and shot until you are out of ammo.
Damn.
You ripped up your dress so you could move around better, and then started to punch and kick like you were taught in your Kung Fu classes. The aliens fall one after one before you realized: Someone had shot you.
In the leg. You stumbled backwards whilst trying to fend them off. You slipped in your man's dead body, and while you were distracted by that an alien came in, and stabbed you. With his hand!?
Before you died you saw him ripping out your heart and showing it to you like it was a game. But that's what it was. Your actions ended the world you tosspot.

I apologize for dreadful writing, but I had a lot of, er, fun... Writing that :P

17 Mai!

Today, where we celebrate the best country in the word, which is clearly Norway, is one of the best days EVER. We get the day off, and we get to walk in the middle of the roads. It's brilliant! I haven't eaten any ice-creams today, though, which is regrettable.

I hung out my tiny flag out my window, secured with loads and loads of tape before I went to the SU bar to celebrate 17 mai. They had bag-runs (!?) and egg-runs and shit like that, sang the national anthem and stuff. Was nice, but I did miss going to my grandparents and eat cake and other yummies.

Also saw two plays from the 2nd years. I really enjoyed the first one, it was a social experiment they said, and we were going on "speed dates". That was loads of fun. The second one was about the body and body image. Was very interesting. I was given a moustache in the first one. Ended up looking like that....

 ....

Yes...

The worst part is that I kind of look like my dad in that get-up....

Your move daddy dearest.

Being on time.

I just paid the tuition fee. :P
At 3 o'clock in the morning...
I'm really good at paying stuff on time, I swear!
Time and I aren't getting along that well. It always makes me late! When I want it to slow down it speeds up, etc etc... Very frustrating. And quite frankly, I think it could stop doing so.
...
Actually, had it been up to me, I would be in control of it, and made people my bitches. As you do.
Oh my goodness me, I WOULD HAVE GONE BACK IN TIME AND GOTTEN A T-REX PET!!! I need this to happen.
OR EVEN BETTER!! I would humanity stem from them instead of the stupid, filthy, disgusting monkeys!
Monkeys should be illegal. Disgusting creatures. Fine ok, they are technically called "Apes", but I won't give them the satisfaction. Filthy shit-flingers.

Also: my dictionary didn't like "Shit-flingers" and wanted to correct it to "right wingers". I suspect my dictionary is a left-wing-man/woman itself! :D
This amused me quite a bit. I have photographic proof too!

I also realised in hindsight that I really hadn't needed to show the whole menu in the picture... I am too lazy to correct this though.
Tomorrow and Tuesday will be two very busy days, so going to bed! Seeing as it is over 3 o'clock, it should be appropriate.
I NEED TO REMEMBER MY LINES!
STRESSED!

Sickness and shit.

Tuesday is our last performance of the year. "The Big Production", our last practical assessment, our pièce de résistance... The fact that it is our pièce de résistance is kind of sad too, but what can you really do... It has improved severely, which is a blessing...
And of course, I've gotten ill. It's so freakin' typical, it's not even funny. It's a throat infection too, which makes it all so much better. Going to the doctor's tomorrow morning to see if they can do anything.
It's going to be bloody early though... 8.10, in fact. Far too early for anyone to function properly.

Learning lines in our play is a nightmare. It's not really a nightmare to learn them, but to find the energy to do it is another thing. What I've done basically since Saturday is lazily watching the Yogscast's Shadow Of Israphel from beginning to end. I love this series. It's absolutely brilliant.
Cheered me up quite a bit.
No fun to be sick.
I'm done complaining now. ;)

Also look at this:

I. Love. It.
It is pure awesomeness. It is so cool, that coolness is struggling to keep up with how cool it is.

ALSO. Rant is required. I don't think it is "unprofessional" to wear socks when you're freezing your arse off when going through a play whilst being sick. That's just a personal opinion though, but when you're neither running nor carrying people around, I don't think it freakin' matters.
I wouldn't normally wear socks, but I was cold.
Leave me alone, douchebag. It's just a pair of freaking socks.

Hilarity Ensued

Today (well technically yesterday), Frank took the call of a marketing company who has been tormenting me since Friday (That is 5 freakin' days!). It was the best moments in this year so far.
What we heard from his side was something like this:

"Hello? Hello? Yes, hi.
Yes, I guess I do have time for that...
Do you have porn? I mean, do you have adult channels?
No? No adult channels?
I dunno, I don't think so, I just found this phone...
Well... OK. Bye."

I know I must have misquoted so so very much, but oh my god. It happened.
I wish oh, I wish it had been recorded.
Carina and I were standing by him HOWLING with laughter. He must have suspected something... The guy at the other end, I mean.
When I asked how Frank managed to be so calm and not laugh too, he just said "I've been dealing with telephone salesmen for a long time...."

It happened.

Easter holiday

I love the Easter. Being at Okse and just chillin'. With an easter egg filled with sweets.
Yum yum.
I haven't got a lot to say, but will let the pictures speak for themselves.

View from "Oksetoppen".

Hard-boiled easter eggs at the 'top. Made yellow by leaves. Was really nice. Got grandma, her three siblings and their spouses, mum and dad, two of dad's cousins and spouses and CHILDREN... My two uncles, and my cousins... So we were a good few. Eating hard-boiled eggs... At 10 o'clock at Oksetoppen.. Thinkin' 'bout makin' that a tradition! :D

View from Oksetoppen

Where we used to sit and eat crabs then jump in the sea and wash it off after.

"Skjæret", they used to clear off all the seaweed so we could swim over and sit there without having to worry about jelly fish. I quite liked that.

"Bukta", where we found loads of driftwood and.. other stuff.. Like messages in a bottle and stuff.

Used to run really really fast back and forth here. Good times.

Okse!

Easter egg filled with goodly yummies. Of awesomeness.

And lastly; annoying swans trying to attack our boat. Love it when that happens.

KTHXBYE! :D

Airports.

I FORGOT MY PASSPORT AND HAD TO HAVE ALAN SEND IT TO ME IN A TAXI!
I am furious with myself. How stupid can you be!?
Grrrr...
Luckily there was a nice lady-person who helped me a lot, and fortunately rebooking only cost £50, and not a million, as one would expect it to cost... So yay for that. My passport's adventure alone in the taxi was actually more expensive than rebooking that ticket. As one would expect with taxis. But fortunately not as expensive as it would have been  in Norway though.
Thank Christ.
So now I'm sat here at the airport, pooping, while an annoying game-thing in Serendipity Games keeps playing the same game-tune over and over and over.

My wonderful view.

The fucking annoying place with the even more annoying music. On repeat.

Hah, there was this air-hostess-lady-type of thing that suspiciously asked me if I weas waiting on a plane.
The look on her face was reasonably epic.
She looked a bit like she thought I was here by choice (a homeless person, in case you didn't get the hint of bitterness.), and not because I am going to catch a flight tomorrow at 6.
Asshat.

Urgh. I am so furious with myself now, how could I forget the passport!? Seriously!

Hah. Quite proud of this themed reply to Mr. Jones' words of wisdom. Thanks dude. You made my day. Seriously. I love being able to throw in a complaint whilst trying (often failing) to be witty. It's win-win.

OOOH! And a nice man working at the airport offered me a tea or coffee! He previously came up to me all scary-looking asking if I was waiting for a plane and explained that there would be a fire drill (he did also go on about how a really long alarm probably would indicate a real fire, which was hilarious.) How insanely nice is that! I am utterly charmed. What a nice man! Most people would just let me buy the crappy one from the Nescafé one right next to me, but no, not him. This is why I love Britain. Politeness and shit! Not shit. But shit as in "general stuff".
Yah.
Coolbeans.

Apparently I'm the only one waiting here over night.

Cool.
Mood is definitely better than it was.