Anal probing and other necessities.

We all know aliens are supposedly probing the people they supposedly abduct.
But here is my theory.
The farmer (there is always a farmer in the receiving end-story) got reeaally fucking drunk one evening, presented to hit on a man, a trucker at that (because they always have long nasty fatty hair), took him home to his respective house, managed to accidentally shoot his dog, and then proceeded to have rough sex with the trucker.
The farmer fell asleep and snored like someone flew through the atmosphere, the trucker couldn't sleep because of it, so he got into his truck with loads of flashy lights on it, and drove off.

I found this to be a suiting descriptive picture. Only that the trucker was really really hairy and nasty and had one of them weird moustaches.
The farmer didn't end up with a bun in the oven, however, because he is a man. So don't be silly.

No. If aliens wanted to see what humans were like on the inside, they would probably grab a homeless person and killed him and done an autopsy on him. No way they would leave them alive. That is just silly.
And I believe if aliens were to come here, they would first of all check out how humanity were ready to cope with them "stopping by their planet, casual-like" and so on and so on. No alien is stupid enough to just go take a random farmer and stick a thing in his butt and say "Hey dude, I took a liking to your arse, now come with me, I will take you with me to my home planet, where fucking E.T. lives in fucking happiness!"
No!
Nobody in this fucking universe is that fucking stupid!

Wait.. I know of a certain male specimen that could be so fucking dim, and possibly also paler than they portray aliens, and a heckofalot more "shady".. *snort*... HAHAHA!! No that was a joke. A big fat joke. Like him. If by shady one mean "fucking creepy" then there you got him...
Oooohh.. That coward deserves to be probed so hard......

Anyway, my point is, before I digressed (though not that horribly.. He looks like an alien..), that if aliens visit Earth, there is no way they would just stand over a city for ever like in District 9, I think they would try and locate a leader and blast them to death with their fancy plasma guns.... Ohh hoho yes...
And naturally crown me king. Because that is the logical thing to do.