Intelligence.

I have noticed a distinct lack of intelligent posts on here. So I decided to make another post with extreme wit and composure. Are you ready? Here goes:

Rubik's cube
IQ-test
IQ- test result
Maths
Physics
String theory
Einstein
Computers
Puzzles
Condoms
Rocket science

I know, I am hilarious.

Look! Here is a blood-fountain for ya! Oh and this is my 333rd blogpost! Funny number! What up!

Mmmmmmmils!

Internet glory

This is me, having to update my blog from my phone because my personal internet won't bloody work. I love it when stuff work. Virgin took a giant shit on the leg. I need internet. It's my addiction, sure, but it's such a beautiful addiction! You can find flowers and ponies on the internet! Everybody loves the internet.
Booyah.
I NEED IT!!! Give it here, please! Require! Yearn for! Desire! Troof, innit bruv! :P
Now, virgin, please give me what I pay for!
Kthxbye!

A day in the Life

This morning (night) I spoke to my sister who was in Surfers Paradise, Australia. 5.00 am the time was. It was really nice to speak to her again, though, so it was worth being up at that ridiculous hour. I went to bed after the connection broke, but only a few hours after I hear my phone vibrate like .. something that vibrate a lot...

3d heart. I particularly like the bewbs in the background!

It was Kayleigh.
Kayleigh and Cira.
The troublesome duo. (Brilliant name for them. I stole it shamelessly.)
They wanted to come in.
They knocked on my door, Sheldon style..
They came in.
THEY FREAKIN' MOUNTED ME! And pulled off my duvet... And tickled me.. :P 
They are evil.

I need to extract vengeance so sweet it will make God's teeth melt.
Yay, one up for blasphemy!

...But to be fair, Kay did buy us lunch (read: breakfast), which was really nice. And we ate this really incredible desert-thing with runny chocolate inside. It tasted of heaven. And a brownie with custard. First time I ever had custard. Well when I think about it, I did have custard cake... BUT THAT DOESN'T COUNT! This was proper runny custard... (cough.)

The loverly desert.... The one to the right was the best one in my opinion.

 It's fun to rant about stuff I don't really need to rant about. I do love them to bits. And I will have to avenge... myself.. They call me Swedish. How very dare they! Swedes stand by the windows and grin in thunderstorms because they think the lightning is a flash! Norwegians are far too clever for these antics.
Silly Swedes.

Evidence that Kayleigh and Cira has been here.

Heh heh.

Dear bully.

We had a very serious talk about bullying earlier this week, apparently there is bullying going on in our class...
"Our class" is a first year class in Swansea Metropolitan UNIVERSITY.
The after-school-thing I worked at last year did that. They were 6-9 years old.
How can 18+ year old people be so incredibly pathetic and actually bully someone?
Why would you deliberately try and exclude someone? If you don't like someone, then you should have the fucking balls to tell them?
Why would you deliberately try and make them feel like shit? Does that make you feel stronger? More powerful? Do you get off from it?
I can honestly say that I strongly hate, no, loathe, bullies.

Do you know what the person you abuse is left with?
They are left feeling unimportant. They are left feeling sick and sad. Why would anyone care about what they think and feel? "I'm ugly!", "Why would I trust them? Maybe they turn out to use this against me!" They are left feeling scared, hurt and feeling alone. Bitter and angry.

If this makes you feel you have power, then you are the lowest of the low.

You fucking douchebag. I sincerely hope to God you get karmic justice you slimy piece of shit. I sincerely hope you fucking do.
This is to you from me.
You deserve to be run over by a car. You deserve to rot in a basement for years and years to come. You deserve to feel every emotion the one you bullied felt, only 10 times worse. You deserve to struggle with mental problems, like loads of victims do. You deserve to rot in loneliness and fucking despair.

Fuck you. Really. FUCK you.
Pathetic piece of shit.

Sincerely,
Maria.

The adventures of emperor Tedward McBearington III.

Once upon a time there was a bear. One day he was deported from China, where he ruled in the factory he was made. This made McBearington III sad. But then he was bought by a fair maiden.

This made McBearington III happy. Look how happy he is! The fair maiden took a liking to the bear, and soon they did everything together.

They went shopping together...

.. They discussed the shopping list together...

... They even withdrew cash together!

Then one day they decided to have a meal together on McDonald's, because Tedward wanted to show her how grateful he was.

He was very hungry.

He ate ALL the food, because he was a very good bear who always ate up his food.

But this disgusted the fair maiden, so she left. That made Tedward sad. So he sat down on a bench and started abusing drugs. He abused and abused until one day, she came back!

They were happy again! They went on a holiday together. To Swansea!

They cuddled by a church.

Then they cuddled some more, because bears love to cuddle. That is the no. 1 thing bears like to do. Tied with eating honey.

They went back to the girl's lodge in the magical forest.

Then they watched a magical film about a magical unicorn on her magical stone...

And then they cuddled some more! Tedward was so happy!

And then the fair maiden kissed Tedward! Tedward was so happy! ...But then he felt weird! Something started happening! Suddenly his skin turned to paper! And his hands were tied up with tape! The fair maiden had tricked him, and now he was turning into a paper-rock! That made Tedward sad.

Now Tedward was a paper-stone. He no longer felt sad or happy. He was just there. And he would be there in the fair maiden's lodge in the magical forest until she decided to move him.

                                       The End.


BACKGROUND STORY TIME!
Cira and I (Cira is the girl in the photos) bought this for our friend Kayleigh for her birthday, because it was so hilariously huge and soft and cuddly. And then we went around in town with it. We soon realised we were causing quite a lot of attention around ourselves, so we decided to drag it a little bit further. Which was fun. So we ended up doing all of the above!

Below is a picture of the background story of emperor Tedward McBearington III. Enjoy!

If it's hard to read because of shitty picture quality then give me a shout. It should be fine though.

Oh Swansea.

It's quite easy to see that Swansea people needs a little extra to understand what a dog taking a shit look like.

Bless them.

I just love that they actually made an image of a dog taking a dump and put it on a sign. It's just fantastic!

(Patronising the people of the country you live in = insta win. :P)