L33tness!

I've been watching The Big Bang Theory, and My Family lately... It's awesome.
Oh, BTW, babies look funny when they sleep.
All cross-eyed and odd-looking...

Anyway. My name is Maria, and I'm a geek. (hiiiii, Maria..)
I've been playing ... Roleplaying games... Online (ungh... It's tough to admit things like this the first time...)
And every time i do a Major action, I get told off, and the lovely GM changes it to "Standard"... To be honest, I like "Major" better.... All the actions starts on the letter 'M'. Wich is a nice way to remember things... And the letter 'M' IS the prettiest one in the whole alphabet.... I mean come on! Just look at it :D Anyway. Making a big deal out of how I write "Standard action" just makes the whole "Major Action" even funnier! Oh, and when people go all "serious", then it is a matter of pride. And no way I'm ever gonna give in, then!

....So naturally I had to give in...... I mean he was.... Is... The GM...

Alfie is awesome. In 'My Family', I mean.... He's scottish :D (no he isn't, he's welsh. My bad :P)
Mhm.

Michael Jackson is dead. Apparently he weighed 51 kilos.... And losing his hair and stuff.... Nasty business... He was a good dancer....
It's so weird... Heath Ledger too...

Anyway. Go and Major Action a Standard Action.

boredomnesslike

BAH! Was too late. That sucked. By ONE minute! ....maximum suckage.

!

L33t! :P

SH....azam again?

Yes!
I am back from Gageac! Le petit Matreau! Or whatever!
It was great. I tried playing the bagpipe!
BAGPIPE!
How awesome is that!
And I'm super-proud that I got the drones to work properly... IT'S AWESOME!
I is supah proud!
Oh yeah.
.............
Yeah ok. I might have overreacted a little bit...

Anyway. I is back in black, yellow, blue, red, and an occational green.
so beware of the ripper!

Mon voyage dans le sud

Yesh!
I'm going to Bordeaux this week-end. Or not exactly Bordeaux, but outside. It's called Gageac, and a place called "little hammer", ou comme ca!
Beautiful there!
So that'll be fun.
I wish we could take a tiiiiiiiny trip into Bordeaux city, aswell... Because then I could say that I had been there. And it must suck pretty bad to say: "wow, look! I've been around the world! And.. Oh, no, apparently I was never in Bordeaux... Hmmm.. yeah that sucked.... Oh well..."
No... I can't let that happen!

Carcassonne looks like an awesome city. With a fort and stuff. And the river Aude floating alongside the city.... I wonder if it's running though the city, or just right by it... Anyway.. Chartres also, looks cool... With the labyrinth in the Chartres Cathedral..... LABYRINTHS! SERIOUSLY! How GREAT is that? Mysteries and stuff ROCKS!
ESPECIALLY labyrinths.
And Atlantis ofcourse.
Atlantis is awesome.
I want to go there. I just hope it has got air in it... Somehow... If it doesn't, I would end up in a pretty bad shape... And I don't want that to happen untill I'm 111 years old. Or older.
So yeah.

For the super-massive- Spaceship in my yard!

Albert Vivaldi

A site I bumped into said "the longer your ring-finger is than your index finger, the more likely you'll have talents in math, technical stuff and/or music." (roughly translated..)
I found that funny... Many people have a longer ring-finger.
...Yeah, I'm one of them. So what that thing says, is that I'm accually both Einstein and Vivaldi?
I LIKE IT!
When I see a violin, I'll pick it right up, and start playing like a wonderchild of awesomeness?
And every time a teacher write a really hard math... thing I would be able to solve it...?
DAMN if only that was true my mathgrades would be 80% better! (I found that out by the good old finger method. I bet Einstein didn't have the skills to do that. HAH, He'd have to calculate how to do it! Because he was a physicist! Not a mathematician!)

Hmmm... Yeah. I like this new and brilliantly-awesome-and-super-smart me :D
Yeah... I think I'm gonna go pour me some milk in a super-advanced-and-slightly-musical way that makes girls wanna jump me.

Ehm... And by "girls" I naturally mean guys ofcourse!

... Yeah.
Maybe I'll have to go "evil"... All the smart people are evil. Most Evil guys (by "guys" I mean "the generel smart evil population")are also musical... Aren't they?
Anyway. I'm gonna go plot my evil evilness of Evil with a little extra DOOM, so... Yeah.

Quasimodo the german teapot.

My family is a comming to ze Paris a today'a!
It'll be nice!
My youngest sister flew for the first time (she's... what.. 14?) wich is weird...
And they live in the Moulin Rouge area.... Wich is where all the sex-shops and strip-clubs are XD
Oh yes.
Mom's gonna be pleased (oh my..) to see (I swear... I don't do this on purpose! ... ahh, who am I kidding..) that... I know I'm gonna mock her for that for the rest of my life :P
"Special price for you, my friend!"
(eew...)
Yah.
Anyway. I'm gonna build a city on rock and roll...
With my 99 red balloons.

Shazam! :P

NADA

No. Nothing. Nix. Ingen. Rien. Nei. Non. Nein. Nicht. Nobody that picked their nose.
Accually, I'm quite glad that I didn't catch anyone in the horrible act of nose-pickage! Very glad, accually...

Anyway....
I prende les photos today. This is one of them. Naturally the sun went behind some couds when I stood by that little river-thingy.. Clever bastard ;)
Anyway, it is late and stuff.

Night. And stuff.

Stomp on a baby ant

I want to .. DO something with this blogg. I mean, NOW, it's all pointless and.. Boring. Maybe if I... Started doing some serious research about random shit, and write about it, then maybe, just maybe, this'll be revived. Maybe. Yes. I liked that. Today I'm gonna count people picking their nose in their car while they think nobody's watching. Accually, just picking their nose in general...
Oh yes. I will do that! Yeah!
Stay tuned for some serious SCIENCE! .... OK maybe not science...

I'll wear my awesome sunglasses and be all stealthy-like!
Wearing sunglasses everywhere makes you cool. It's true. Just look at Bernard.

OH! While I'm at it, the science that is, I can just as well find out how many who are wearing awesome sunglasses! Not lame sunglasses... Or I'll count them too. Just for shits and laughs (who have I heard say that? It's horrible!)... Aaaanyway.

I'll be off exploring people's noses and stuff. (Ew..)

Seigmann.

I stole this from Barney's blog. From How I met Your Mother. Yesh, I'm pathetic and lame... But this one was hillarious. And I wanted to share it with you, dear reader, YOU! YOU who have read my blogg faithfully for the last... month... Oh yes, I know there is a fan-club out there. That has stolen my old diary... And read ... from it, and... my blogg .. out loud.... HEY STOP THAT! Give me my diary back!! RIGHT NOW! Or I'll have to call my fanatic fans! OH YES! You wouldn't like that, now, would you! HAH, I win :D
Anyway. From the blogg of Barney Stinson, I bring you "Just Visiting":

If you can stomach walking around dressed like someone’s dad, pretending to be a tourist in your own hometown is a great way to score chicks. All you need is a map, a fanny pack, and a brand new identity. I can’t help with the first two, but I can certainly help you create a believable back-story that promises to turn your waning local love life into a fiery, no-strings attached romp. Sorr
Iy! No time to stick around - you’ve got a flight to catch.


Hi, I’m (real first name) __________ (bird of prey) ___________. I’m from (compass direction) _________ (biblical locale) ___________, (Midwestern or rectangular state) ___________. Go fightin’ (woodland creatures) ____________! Yep, it’s a great place to grow up. Walking down Main Street at (time of day) _________, and dropping in at (3-letter male name) _____________’s for some homemade (diabetic dessert) __________, well it makes my eyes water and my tummy grumble just thinking about it, yes siree. From time to time I like to check in on ol’ Mrs. (tree species) _________, bless her heart, and her prize winning (color) __________ (vegetable) __________s. My high school sweetheart (flower type) ____________ and I used to neck up on (dangerous animal) _____________ (body of water) _________ Point. Thought we’d get married but the good Lord had other plans for her in the form of a (American sedan) __________ losing control ‘round (American president) ________’s Curve. After she passed, I took up (piece of furniture) ____________ whittling to ease the pain, but golly, I sure don’t meet many ladies in that line of work, 'specially not ones as pretty as you. Gosh, you’re prettier than a (barnyard animal) ___________ on a (season) _________ day glistening in the (celestial body) __________ shine.

It's mah birthdae!

YEAH! Happy Birthday, me!
*blows out an imaginary candle *
Yeah.
And when I grow up, I'm gonna be Yoda! Because he's my hero!
Oh yeah.
Just.. Not Crazy Yoda. But the nice un-crazy one. The bouncy one.
So yeah, I've been watching Star Wars for the past 2 days... Accually 3, now... For the first time!
So misa isa super proud! ... *shivers*
Anyway.
It'sa fun fun. I can't wait till they make up the light sabers. That day will be EPIC! Oh yes.

I can't come up with anything intelligent to write, so... Shazam, and good night.
May the force be with you! :P haha

SHAZAM!

Oh my God. Ohmygodohmygod oh my god!
GUESS WHAT! Futurama's coming back!
Isn't that just... Insanely awesome?

Oh yeah....
Ohhhh yeah!
Finally, a little justice ;)

OK, and: I also found out that I'm really not arsed to translate Reinert med Beinet.
It's awesome though..

EPIC!

THE BEST SONG IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: (it's not just in Norwegian... It's in the Southern Norwegian DIALECT! How AWESOME is that?)

REINERT MED BEINET

Æ har seilt på alle hav, ja æ har vore på seilas,
æ har seilt så alle seil har gått i fille,
har forlist i sydatlanten, blitt slått ned i Caracas,
å ei gang blei æ nerpå eden a de ville.

På ei palmeøy i stillehavet rodde mi i land,
æ å Reinert å en kokk fra Renneville,
å mi rosla rondt på øya å beså oss liddegrann,
å plutsli blei mi anfalt a en bande ville.

I å med at denne Reinert hinka rondt på konstig bein,
va det ikkje rå å løbe fra de ville,
snart så sadd mi der fortøya sånn til hver vår palmegrein,
å mi forsto at mi va faren rekti ille.

å kannibalane de diska opp me gryder å me kar,
me gullerøddå, kålerabi å persille,
å kokken hakka tenne, tenk han blei så bleig å rar,
å tenk teslutt begynte tårane å trille.

Du måkje sidde dær å tude, seie æ så blidt e kan,
denslags gjør nåk ikkje inntrykk på de ville,
å de ville hakje ennå lagt potetane i vann,
så du får ta ein røyg å sitte ganske stille.

Ein a de svarte kunne engelsk så æ brukte han som tolk,
å så sa æ du må seie te de ville,
at som kjøtt betrakta e mi ikkje slig som andre folk,
mi e ei blanding uda hai å krokodille.

å så seie æ te Reinert du må skrue beine a,
å så slenge du det ove te de ville,
å den ville skaren hylte som et opprørt tropehav,
å tenk te slutt blei skaren ganske, ganske stille.

Ja no sånt no vakje edanes, det skjønte de så klart,
som kunne dele se i bede som de ville,
å det ruktes rondt på øyane det va jo ikkje rart,
at folk fra Sørlande de smage rekti ille.

OK.
NO WAY Google Translate will EVER be able to translate that.
So I'm gonna do it ^^
JUST to put Søgne on the map.
Err.. I mean Southern Norway
Right. I'm gonna start calling Southern Norway: Sutherland.
Kiefer Sutherland. Nah, I'm not.
Just South. Yeehaa.
(I'm gonna translate it later/tomorrow..
Not arsed right now. And it's dead important that I do it too!
See, it's called National Pride. And in my case; Southerners Pride :D
Oh yeah.)

Walk the Line

There are many MANY possible dangers out there.
Many you don't even know about! Things you didn't even know existed! ...Oh, but they do. Oh yes, they do.
Like Nessie. Nessie exist, but she moved away from Loch Ness when she was first spotted. Now she lives just outside of Edinburgh. It's true!
And she is eating dead fish and rotten mayonnaise. She's a survivor. There's nothing more to say on that subject. Well. She also eat dead bodies from time to time.... Actually, she's just eating what's dead and rotten that floats her way... Luxury life, eh? Yes. Nessie needs to be saved. She's going to turn into a monster if this goes on! An undead-eating mon...s..ter... Wait. That's actually really useful! We need to clone Nessie! Wait.. No! No! No, we don't!
We don't want my raging army of zombies to fail, do we? I mean. Zombies rock. Therefore they must live. That's what the Bible says.
Mhm.
Anyway, I just have to be random and add the lyrics of one of the perviest (in my opinion) Norwegian folk-song ever.

Jentelokken
(Geir Lystrup)

1) Lideli galen, lidelig god, kom til meg skal du få drikke av min sko. Lideli galen, lidelig god, kom til meg skal du få danse. Danse opp og danse ned i raude lyngen under himla høge tre. Danse vill og danse varm. Å kjære gje meg ein mazurka.

2) Lideli galen, lideli god, kom til meg skal du få drikke av min sko. Lideli galen, lideli god, kom til meg skal du få ta meg. Ta meg opp og ta meg ned ned i raude lyngen under himla høge tre. Ta meg vill og ta meg varm. Å kjære gje meg ein mazurka.

Yeah that roughly mean..... No I'm not gonna translate that. It's too dirty for that....
Even I wouldn't expose you for such pervyness...
(If you're really desperate, use Google Translate. Real simple. Oh yeah.)

Anyway. This is it fer tehdeh.

Out of your head.....

Yes... We've had a... phase... of youtubing, wich obviously involves annoying songs and videos... Like this one. Oh yes. This is the worst one. Because it is true! YOU NEVER GET THE GOD DAMN SONG OUT OF YOUR BLOODY HEAD!! ARGH!!

So obviously, I'm gonna add the link. Joost'a to be nice'a... Heh..
Yeah right.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umUOiXAFAyg

Anyway. Todays issue, the issue of the day, the days issue, the issues day, the Daily Issue, the ... I can pull it longer, but I choose not to... Anyway, todays TOPIC is: CAGES! (OooooOOoooOOoo)

It's funny about kids... I mean, we cuddle them, we play with them, we feed them, and "we never ever wanna leave them. EVER"... But if we "don't"... Why .. or WHO invited the playpen? I mean... It doesn't even look like a place I would place my worst enemy!

I mean just LOOK at that picture! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Playpen

It looks.... HORRIBLE!

It looks like a prison!

Just look at that kid in the playpen.... I bet it's saying "MOMMY!! GET ME OUT OF HERE! It wants to EAT ME! ...And there is an old guy in here, aswell, sitting in the corner, under some toys, saying he'll give me candy if I pick up his soap!" or like its life depends on getting out of there... (it probably does.)

Yeah.... Parents are sadistic bastards... They just like to think they aren't....

Anyway... The playpen is also where the faeries swap the kids for Grinches that looks a lot like the baby in "question"... Yes.
The Grinch is real. And you've seen THEM (yes, there are more than one Grinch, obviously... They aren't Santa...) every time a baby cry, or go completely mental over pickles and other un-real problems....
Oh yes. Most of the time, the baby manages to crawl out of the faerie land, of pink and light blue and salmon red, out into the real world... Then the Grinch start it's long dying process, and doesn't really die untill they are out of their teens. But the babies that doesn't make it out, before they are three, they... They die. And the evil babies of Doom who choose to stay in faerie-land, becomes one of the evil faeries.. And it's Grinch is here to stay! If you wonder how you can see who is grinch, and who isn't, the answer is obvious. Their personality. And also you can also see it on their smile. Looks very Grinch-like. You know, "the Grinch", with Jim Carrey... It's accually spot on! Except they normally don't grow a bigger heart.... That's just a myth, you see....

Anyway... Grinches and faeries fortunately have enemies aswell. They are called: ALCOHOLICS!
Yes.
Alcoholics.
You know how they always talk about the green fairy? They aren't fantasizing, you see. They are just so drunk that they are in a certain state of mind, wich is so primitive and simple that it's ... quite scary...
Anyway. That they can see them, scares the faeries. And also, when a faerie has been spotted by something less innocent than a baby, it instantly DIES the most BRUTAL and PAINFUL death you can ever imagine!
It bursts into flames, get swallowed by a fly (a magical fly, naturally...) and the fly gets eaten by a toad, and the toad explodes, and then a dog comes around to sniff in the remains of the toad, fly and faerie, and leave a giant dropping over the faerie. THEN some nice guy cleans up after the dog, and swoops up the faerie aswell before he throw the bag in the bin, and THEN the garbage truck comes around, and the faerie lies beneath a heap of rubbish for hours, before the truck stops... And then the garbage gets thrown into a GIANT INCINERATOR!
And the faerie has a little fire resistance, so it lasts longer than the garbage, but dies a very very very painful death.

Oh yes. So the point of this story is: never ever EVER get a playpen. It's pure evil! And besides: You never know how many leprachauns there are, living around in your area, wanting to ask your baby where his soap is....
Filthy FILTHY leprachauns...

[Eric]

Yes. My belovved ear has been a bitch since... last sunday. Might go see a doctor soon. Been sniffing nose spray all week... Hope it's helping... It's great to spend your week-end sick.... But that's life.
Hah, I had a funny "dizzy" moment today... Was weird... Felt like I was either REALLY tired or a little drunk.
Yeah, I'm gonna go fuck up my ear entirely so that I get this weird balance forever, and seem constantly drunk! WOOHOO!

Yeah, I think I won't do that.

Anyway, it's a little late, and there is a certain geek that needs sleep.
For ear and head! *National anthem playing in the background*
Oh yes. Good old Norway.

One thing I miss in Paris is the sea... It's so weird to be so far away from it. And the seagulls.. Yes I know.. Everybody hates them, but I think they are cozy.. When they are flying around, screaming for food, THAT'S when you know it's summer :)
Oh, and lying on the pier, or whatever you call it, looking through the cracks on the water, shimmering beneath us... Then being informed that the crabs have been boiled, and we eat till we go numb... But we can't because crabs are so wonderful, so we eat a little more... And then, when we're done, we jump into the sea to get all the crab-left-overs off, but the water is so chilly after the while in the sun, so we hurry up and lay down on a big towel, and sun-dry, watching the water from the cracks again.

And THEN, after I usually was nagging on my cousins and sisters for like, half an hour or so, they finally joined me in the bathing again.... But they always exited the water too soon... They said 3 hours was a little too much for them.... Lame-o's...

Anyway. The tired geezer better go to bed. Now. Peace. And remember to never drive your car more than necessary! (wich is about... never.) And also to recycle! :D
YEAH!

Death

Humour doctor..... What was I thinking...
Seriously...

Rubbish

Ooooooh!!!!
ARGH!
BAH!

There. It had to be said. If I hadn't, there would have been so much tension between us...

Anyway.. I composed a song, later this... evening...:

Where have all my good jokes gone
Long time passing
Where have all my good jokes gone
A long long time ago
....

Yeah..
And there it goes again. My humour that is.... Oh! If anyon know a Humour doctor, that can revive dead humour, please let me know..

Seriously... Why do I keep trying? I'm in serious, physical pain, almost, here...
Anyway...

NIGHT!
Girl power! :P

I got the Blues.

I got ble fingers. Blue is an awesome colour. I want to be blue. If I take a bath in cherry juice, maybe I'll be blue FOREVER! That would be kinda cool...
Blue IS a jellybean colour... Maybe I'll make a trend out of it (HAHA I wish...)...

Maybe we laughed a bit too loud, but at never hurt no-one...
Only the good die young...

Billy Joel.
He's real jelly.
Nah.. Doesn't sound the same in english...
Sticky... Jelly... Jellybean... Nah...
Anyway, LET'S BECOME ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVEN TOGETHER!
I've already told most of my friends that they have to be, but... I think the whole world should be. Or... Those who are older, should obviously be 140 and 150 etc, but as long as they pass 111, it's fine. So yeah. After we're 111, I'll demand that you become 120. Wich you obviously should. Because I'm always right.

Hey little girl

Oooooh Yeah. The little schelle bebe bist walking when we're holding her. And standing... Obviously... And also like to say "mamamamamama" a lot. I'm starting to think that that's all she's ever going to manage to say.... (She's sooo cute!)
But maybe she'stalking this weird unknown language, only diaper users can understand.
OH! But imagine how cool it would be, to just scream, and get whatever you wanted!
Oh yeah.
Everybodys dream. And especially to take care of something like that. I mean... I've never had a bigger dream than to become a mom, drop out of college/university, because of it, and/or work, JUST to take care of that ball of meat, vomit and poo. And sound.... A LOT of sound....
Oh yeah.
I mean... It's just so damn great.
And they are soooo cute! The way they scream and squirm in your arms... I just want to hug them!

Yeah..
Anyway, burn on you for not having cherries.
OH! And only two more months 'till I can go home!


I am, he is, you are, he is, you are me and we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun see how they fly
i'm crying
sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come......
I am the eggman (wooo) they are the eggmen(woooo), I am the walrus, Koo koo ka choo!
Jooba jooba jooba!

That was todays Random. Accually... Today's was basically just... Crap... Or Rubbish. Whatever you prefer. Except the chosen lyrics from "I am the Walrus" ofcourse.

Anyhoo...
Go play with Oui Oui.

Back in Blue...

I is back in Paris, baby, oooooh yeah.
I can finally continue my plotting against the French, and possibly also steal a tank and try to invade this lil' town... Like Mike. Only more successful :D (From Spaced.... In case you hadn't seen it... It is a highly recomended series!)
Anyway... The general population does think it is rather useful to know when and where their employers are coming home, right? Or is it just me, being weird?
Because when you send a message 3 or 4, and they come home 10.... Without a word....
Maybe it's my super-sensitive necromancing/mad scientist genes that are twitching?
oh...
And there they came...

Better close this bad stitching up, then...

SLIM CHANCE BITCH!

I GOT IT!
OH YEAH! I got the diver's lisence! (oh my god... Me and my bad jokes... They've been comming all day.... It must be the weather... Or a meteor that have a certain type of mineral/stone/whatever that kills my sense of humour...)
And along the way, I got upside/down, I got water into my ear (wich I still have.. yay..) and I held a flat-fish! :D
It was awesome... Truly jellybean.
Anyway.. I'm going back to Paris tomorr... Today... That'll be.. Interesting...
No more "familiar" friends for 2 months... That's like a really cool house arrest :P "Hey, you! You're grounded! Go to Paris! No good oldies frendos for you for at least 3 months!"

Nah.. anyway.... Hopefully Egypt'll happen... I think I've deserved that, Karma!

Oooooooh. Tiredness!