Seigmann.

I stole this from Barney's blog. From How I met Your Mother. Yesh, I'm pathetic and lame... But this one was hillarious. And I wanted to share it with you, dear reader, YOU! YOU who have read my blogg faithfully for the last... month... Oh yes, I know there is a fan-club out there. That has stolen my old diary... And read ... from it, and... my blogg .. out loud.... HEY STOP THAT! Give me my diary back!! RIGHT NOW! Or I'll have to call my fanatic fans! OH YES! You wouldn't like that, now, would you! HAH, I win :D
Anyway. From the blogg of Barney Stinson, I bring you "Just Visiting":

If you can stomach walking around dressed like someone’s dad, pretending to be a tourist in your own hometown is a great way to score chicks. All you need is a map, a fanny pack, and a brand new identity. I can’t help with the first two, but I can certainly help you create a believable back-story that promises to turn your waning local love life into a fiery, no-strings attached romp. Sorr
Iy! No time to stick around - you’ve got a flight to catch.


Hi, I’m (real first name) __________ (bird of prey) ___________. I’m from (compass direction) _________ (biblical locale) ___________, (Midwestern or rectangular state) ___________. Go fightin’ (woodland creatures) ____________! Yep, it’s a great place to grow up. Walking down Main Street at (time of day) _________, and dropping in at (3-letter male name) _____________’s for some homemade (diabetic dessert) __________, well it makes my eyes water and my tummy grumble just thinking about it, yes siree. From time to time I like to check in on ol’ Mrs. (tree species) _________, bless her heart, and her prize winning (color) __________ (vegetable) __________s. My high school sweetheart (flower type) ____________ and I used to neck up on (dangerous animal) _____________ (body of water) _________ Point. Thought we’d get married but the good Lord had other plans for her in the form of a (American sedan) __________ losing control ‘round (American president) ________’s Curve. After she passed, I took up (piece of furniture) ____________ whittling to ease the pain, but golly, I sure don’t meet many ladies in that line of work, 'specially not ones as pretty as you. Gosh, you’re prettier than a (barnyard animal) ___________ on a (season) _________ day glistening in the (celestial body) __________ shine.